if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh god it's open bar.
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