I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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