I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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