First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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