real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
