I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
