Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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