Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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