We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
