Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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