For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize