This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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