it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
