I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
