Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
