the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
