I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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