i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
