It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
