hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
