that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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