Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
