I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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