I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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