I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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