You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
