is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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