please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
