We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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