OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
