Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
