they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
