Kiss
Puke
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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