Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize