WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
