So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize