the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
