Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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