I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
