my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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