the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
