you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
