You smell like stripper and shame
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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