Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
vagina is talking i cant
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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