Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
