Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
