Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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