so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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