I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
