Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
