I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
