so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
