it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
