so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
