in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
